Peggy Writes


Spring Sports, Family Dinner Table and Faith

IMG_5741Spring sports are upon us and for the first time in 10 years, we made a conscience decision for all 5 of our children to take a break from  spring sports.  A good friend of mine, who is a father of 3 children and very well respected in our community sent me this article.  I am sharing as I found it insightful and yet it may hit a nerve with some of my friends and followers.  Shane and I have realized that at times, our dinner routine has been sacrificed for sports and that our weekend schedule is ruled by running from field to field.   Father Bill Cullen often challenges us to consider, as a society what rules our Sunday schedule?  The desire to build our child’s athletic ability or our moral obligation to build the foundation of their spiritual well-being.   Would love your thoughts on this article…..


Your kid and my kid are not playing in the pros

Posted by on Tue, Mar 25, 2014 at 4:00 AM

I don’t care if your eight year old can throw a baseball through six inches of plywood. He is not going to the pros. I don’t care if your twelve-year-old scored seven touchdowns last week in Pop Warner; he is not going to the pros. I don’t care if your sixteen -year -old made first team all-state in basketball. He is not playing in the pros. I don’t care if your freshman in college is a varsity scratch golfer, averaging two under par. He isn’t playing in the pros. Now tell me again how good he is. I’ll lay you two to one odds right now and I don’t even know your kid, I have never even see them play, but I’ll put up my pension that your kid is not playing in the pros. It is simply an odds thing. There are far too many variables working against your child. Injury, burnout, others who are better, – these things are are just a fraction of the barriers preventing your child from becoming “the one.”

So how do we balance being the supportive parent who spends three hours a day driving all over hell’s half acre to allow our child to pursue his or her dream without becoming the supportive parent that drives all over hell’s half acre to allow our child to pursue OUR dream? When does this pursuit of athletic stardom become something just shy of a gambling habit? From my experience in the ER I’ve developed some insight in how to identify the latter.

1. When I inform you as a parent that your child has just ruptured their ACL ligament or Achilles tendon, if the next question out of your mouth is, “how long until he or she will be able to play?” You have a serious problem.

2.If you child is knocked unconscious during a football game and can’t remember your name let alone my name but you feel it is a “vital” piece of medical information to let me know that he is the starting linebacker and that the team will probably lose now because he was taken out of the game, you need to see a counselor.

3.  If I tell you that mononucleosis has caused the spleen to swell and that participation in a contact sport could cause a life threatening rupture and bleeding during the course of the illness and you then ask me, “could we just get some extra padding for around the spleen, would it be o.k. to play?” Someone needs to hit you upside the head with a two by four.

4.  If when your child comes in with a blood alcohol level of 250 after wrecking your Lexus and you ask if I can hurry up and get them out of the ER before the police arrive so as not to run the risk of her getting kicked off the swim team, YOU need to be put in jail.

I bet you think I’m kidding about the above patient and parent interactions. I wish I were, but I’m not. These are a fraction of the things I have heard when it comes to children and sports. Every ER doctor in America sees this. How did we get here? How did we go from spending our family times in parks and picnics, at movies and relatives houses to travel baseball and cheerleading competitions? When did we go from being supportive to being subtly abusive?

Why are we spending our entire weekends schlepping from county to county, town to town, state to state to play in some bullshit regional, junior, mid-west, southeast, invitational, elite, prep, all- state, conference, blah,blah,blah tourney? We decorate our cars with washable paint, streamers, numbers and names. Little carpool lines trekking down the interstate honking and waiving at each other like Rev. Jim Jones followers in a Kool-Aide line. Greyhounds, Hawks, Panthers, Eagles, Bobcats, Screaming Devils, Scorching Gonads or whatever other mascot adorns their jerseys. Little megaphone window stickers proclaiming “Ashley” or perhaps a baseball mitt with “Tyler #3.” It is time like these I wish my kids just shot skeet. That would make a hell of a window sticker, little bullet holes spelling their names, or perhaps a transparent dead quail with its head blown off and little feathers spelling out “Tyler #3.”

Somewhere along the line we got distracted, and the practice field became the dinner table of the new millennium. Instead of huddling around a platter of baked chicken, mash potatoes and fruit salad, we spend our evenings handing off our children like 4 x 200 batons. From baseball practice to cheerleading, from swimming lessons to personal training we have become the “hour-long” generation of five to six, six to seven, and seven to eight, selling the souls of our family for lacrosse try-outs. But why do we do this?

It’s because, just like everyone else, we are afraid. We are afraid that Emma will make the cheerleading squad instead of Suzy and that Mitch will start at first base instead of my Dillon. But it doesn’t stop here. You see, if Mitch starts instead of Dillon then Dillon will feel like a failure, and if Dillon feels like a failure then he will sulk and cower in his room, and he will lose his friends because all his friends are on the baseball team too, and if he loses his friends then he will start dressing in Goth duds and pierce his testicle and start using drugs, and listening to head banging music with his door locked. Then, of course, it’s just a matter of time until he’s surfing the net for neo-Nazi memorabilia, visiting gun shows and then opening fire in the school cafeteria. That is why so many fathers who bring their injured sons to the ER are so afraid that they won’t be able to practice this week, or that he may miss the game this weekend. Miss a game, you become a mass murderer – it’s that simple.

Suzy is a whole other story, though. You see, if she doesn’t make the cheerleading squad she will lose a whole bunch of friends and not be as popular as she should (and she is REAL popular) and if she loses some friends, she will be devastated, and all the cool kids will talk about her behind her back, so then she’ll sit in her room all day, and start eating Ding Dongs, and begin cutting at her wrists. Then, of course, it is only a matter of time until she is chatting on the Internet with fifty-year-old men and meeting up with them at truck stops. And that is why every mother is so frightened when her daughters have mononucleosis or influenza. Miss cheerleading practice for a week, and your daughter is doing porn. It’s that simple.

We have become a frightened society that can literally jump from point A to point Z and ignore everything in between. We spend so much time worrying about who might get ahead – and if we’re falling behind – that we have simply lost our common sense. Myself included.

There was a time when sick or injured children were simply sick or injured children.They needed bed rest, fluid, antibiotics and a limitation on activity. They just needed to get better. They didn’t NEED to get better.

I know, I know. Your family is different. You do all these things because your kid loves to compete, he loves the travel basketball, she loves the swim team, it’s her life, it’s what defines him. Part of that is certainly true but a big part of that isn’t. Tens of thousands of families thrive in this setting, but I’m telling you as a clinician, tens of thousands don’t. It is a hidden scourge in society today, taxing and stressing husbands, wives, parents and children. It is denying children the opportunity to explore literally thousands of facets of interests because of the fear of the need to “specialize” in something early, and that by not doing this your child will somehow be just an average kid. How do we learn to rejoice in the average and celebrate as a whole society the exceptional? I’m not sure, but I know that this whole preoccupation is unhealthy, it is dysfunctional and is as bad as alcoholism, tobacco abuse, or any other types of dependency.

I would love to have a son that is a pro athlete. I’d get season tickets; all the other fathers would point at me and I might get a chance to meet Sandy Koufax. It isn’t going to happen, though. But you know what I am certain will happen? I’ll raise self-reliant kids, who will hang out with me when I’m older, remember my birthday, care for their mother, take me to lunch, and the movies, buy me club level seats at Yankee Stadium on occasion, call me at least four times a week and let me in on all the good things in their life, and turn to me for some comfort and advice for all the bad things. I am convinced that those things just will not happen as much for parents of the “hour-long” generation. You can’t create a sense of family only at spring and Christmas break. It just won’t happen. Sure, the kids will probably grow up to be adequate adults. They’ll reflect on how supportive you were by driving them to all their games and practices and workouts. They’ll call the ER from a couple states away to see how mom’s doing but in time you’ll see that something will be missing, something that was sacrificed for a piano tutor, a pitching coach, a travel soccer tournament. It may take years, but in time, you’ll see.

Dr. Louis M. Profeta is an Emergency Physician Practicing in Indianapolis, Indiana.He is the author of the critically acclaimed book, The Patient in Room Nine Says He’s God.


This blog is based on the personal experiences and opinions of Peggy O’Flaherty. Any reproduction of the material in this blog may be used with written consent of the author by e-mail at peggy@creatingspaceinyourlife.comShe is the Founder & President of Creating Space, LLC., a ministry helping people enrich their faith. Follow Peggy at  Peggy O’Flaherty, is a certified spiritual director, public speaker, blog writer, wife and mother of five children. Her recent writing projects include:

40 Day Printable Lenten Calendar

New App For your Phone Connect your Parish, Growing the Faith, One Parish

Extending Compassion, Losing a Child & Evangelization”

Creating Space - Headshot - Peggy


Henri Nouwen The Return of the Prodigal Son

Lent started for me, after having just finished reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri J.M. Nouwen.    Henri Nouwen’s reflection of Rembrandt painting is an amazing journey and a worthwhile read.  My brief reflection doesn’t accurately portray the impact this book has had on my spiritual journey, yet I wanted to share two takeaways.

The Prodigal Son

I grew up in a large close-knit family of 9 children.   My older brother, for a period of 10 years was separated from our family.   He was living out of state and was busy working.  He missed several major family events such as the birth of several of my children, my Father’s 75 birthday and all the holidays.   I was angry and hurt, but at the same time I also missed him.   Honestly, I was also indignant that he wasn’t around to help our parents.   I thought he didn’t care.    Eventually, he came home around the time my dad was dying.  During my dad’s final year my brother moved into their home, he rolled up his sleeves, opened up his heart and embraced all of their physical and emotional needs.

Having heard the Prodigal Son over the years and being in the midst of my brother being gone, I pictured myself as the elder brother.   One day during his absence, I remember visiting my mom and watching her tears and pain about her one lost sheep, her son.   At that time, I felt slighted and even annoyed that she would continue to care so deeply for him since he has not been around or even truly connected with us for over a decade.  Sitting in front of my mom, I had a feeling of emptiness in heart and a wondering of why she wasn’t recognizing me.  Henri Nouwen’s reflection brought those feelings to life for me, as well as the deeper internal pain I had experienced around that time.

“When I listen carefully to the words with which the elder son attacks his father ~~self-righteous, self-pitying, jealous words~~  I hear a deeper complaint.  It is the complaint that comes from a heart that feels it never received what it was due.  It is the complaint expressed in countless subtle and not-so-subtle ways, forming bedrock of human resentment.  It is the complaint that cries out: “I tried so hard, worked so long, did so much, and still I have not received what others get so easily.  Why do people not thank me, not invite me, not play with me, and not honor me, while they pay so much attention to those who take life so easily and so casually?”

I ordered a print of Rembrandt’s painting and it now hangs in our home, in a clear bright room over the piano.   Fifteen years have passed since sitting in-front of my mother and now I sit before this painting.   While I gaze on the younger son, the elder son and the father in this painting, I am mulling over Nouwen’s words and through my own prayer, I recognize I am also similar to the younger son.

“I am the prodigal son every time I search for unconditional love where it cannot be found.  Why do I keep ignoring the place of true love and persist in looking for it elsewhere?  Why do I keep leaving home where I am called a child of God, the Beloved of my Father?  I am constantly surprised at how I keep taking the gifts God has given me  ~~my health, my intellectual and emotional gifts~~ and keep using them to impress people, receive affirmation and praise, and compete for rewards, instead of developing them for the glory of God.”

Lent calls us into a time of prayer.   In prayer as we get to know ourselves better, we gain a better understanding of God.   Allowing God to transform our hearts is a gift.

This blog is based on the personal experiences and opinions of Peggy O’Flaherty. Any reproduction of the material in this blog may be used with written consent of the author by e-mail at peggy@creatingspaceinyourlife.comShe is the Founder & President of Creating Space, LLC., a ministry helping people enrich their faith. Follow Peggy at  Peggy O’Flaherty, is a certified spiritual director, public speaker, blog writer, wife and mother of five children. Her recent writing projects include:

40 Day Printable Lenten Calendar

New App For your Phone Connect your Parish, Growing the Faith, One Parish

Extending Compassion, Losing a Child & Evangelization”

Creating Space - Headshot - Peggy


40 Day Lenten Calendar – Small Act Kindness

The 40 Day Lenten Calendar (below), although originally created for children is now updated for adults.

Sister Michael Gurgone was the kindergarten teacher at our school for over 30 years.  She retired at the end of last school year, yet her traditions live on within our school and community.  Every Lent she would create a 40 day-calendar for our kindergarten children with 40 simple acts of kindness, prayers and fasting.  Sister Michael’s approach was appealing to the children, achievable and had far reaching impact on the children’s family and their parents.

Lent has always been my favorite time of the liturgical year, as I specifically like the opportunity to journey through 40 days with a new vigor in my prayers, fasting and almsgiving.  Lent is often considered a time to abstain from something but I have always viewed it as a means to stretch me physically and spiritually in preparation of awaiting Easter and the Resurrection.  I always remember my parents being so dedicated to the guidelines of our faith tradition during Lent. They encouraged us, as we matured, to enter into reading sacred scripture, attending retreats and “giving something up” with greater intensity.   An adult faith journey varies greatly based on where we are at on our faith journey and although Sister Michael’s 40 small acts were intended for children, I think many will find it meaningful.

Adapted from Sister Michael this printable 40 day Lenten calendar can be designed around your unique journey.   Perhaps on some of the days you will spend more time in prayer and reading.   On other day, reach out to someone to say that you are thinking of them with a quick email or maybe a more elaborate way, by bringing a friend or a grandparent a meal.  Prayerfully consider this Lenten season as an invitation to grow in your faith and to draw yourself closer to God.

“Unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:2

Enjoy this printable calendar for the 40 days of Lent.


This blog is based on the personal experiences and opinions of Peggy O’Flaherty. Any reproduction of the material in this blog may be used with written consent of the author by e-mail at

Peggy O’Flaherty, is a certified spiritual director, public speaker, blog writer, wife and mother of five children. Her recent writing projects include “New App For your Phone Connect your Parish, Growing the Faith, One Parish” and “Extending Compassion, Losing a Child & Evangelization” She is the Founder & President of Creating Space, LLC., a ministry helping people enrich their faith. Follow Peggy at

Here are some additional resources of blogs that you may find interesting.  I am participating in Keep Love in Lent Blog Link-up 2014.   I am keeping Love in Lent this year by supporting these other bloggers.   Plus I am supporting my children who have given up all sweets for 40 days.   Each of these bloggers offer creative ways and thoughts on keeping love in Lent.
Monica at Equipping Catholic Families (on Facebook
Chris at Campfires and Cleats (on Facebook)
Tina at Truly Rich Mom (on Facebook
Tracy at A Slice of Smith Life   (on Facebook)
 Keep Love in Lent 2014

How Do Spiritual Gifts Change Your Life?


In 1979, I was an 11-year-old fifth grader at Saint Joseph School in Downers Grove, IL. On October 5 of that year, my family and I spent the entire day camped curbside in downtown Chicago waiting patiently for Pope John Paul II. We sat with our brown bag lunches amidst the sea of followers. The streets were filled with nuns, priests, children and security guards. This was the first time I had ever heard a foreign language, and many were spoken around me that day, among them, Polish, Spanish and Italian. We were all chanting “Viva la papa!” I remember leaning over and asking an elderly Italian woman with her rosary wrapped around her wrist, “What does that mean?” She looked into my eyes and said, “Long live the Pope.”  In typing this post that phrase still brings a tear to my eye.


I remember the Pope’s motorcade coming down the street and the excitement of his presence. As he passed by, I knew I would always remember that moment, as well as attending the mass he celebrated hours later, with what felt like all of Chicago. The following day, the Chicago Tribune reported the events: “Pope John II traveled to Grant Park for the largest mass ever celebrated in Chicago. The skyscrapers of Chicago’s Loop resembled cathedral spires as they soared over the crowd.” The article described the gathering of an estimated 200,000 people as “festive yet solemn, happy but devout.” Worshipers of all ages, races and religions had come to see the pontiff.

In his homily, John Paul II said:

“Looking at you, I see people who have thrown their destinies together and now write a common history. .. . This is the way America was conceived; this is what she was called to be. . . . But there is another reality that I see when I look at you. . . . your unity as members of the People of God.”

Years later, in 1989 before I met my husband, Shane, he traveled with friends through Europe after graduating from college. They found themselves in a similar crowd gathered at Saint Peter’s Square to attend mass with the Holy Father. After the mass, Pope John Paul II walked amongst the crowds and laid his hand upon the head of one of Shane’s fellow travelers. This experience of the mass and the encounter with the Vicar of Christ left an equally immense impression on Shane.

This past Sunday after mass, as Shane and I ate breakfast with our 5 children, we recounted these stories, and shared how the experiences helped shape us, and led to our current ministries. Another recent turning point for me came through a life-changing program from Catherine of Sienna Institute: its Called and Gifted workshop. Ever since I had finished my studies in spiritual direction, I had been searching for my next step. The Called and Gifted workshop provided me with an inventory and personal context for my spiritual gifts.

Spiritual gifts are different than natural talents and strengths. Natural talents are in-born, or inherited from a parent. I can see that in the athletic ability that my daughter received from my husband. Spiritual gifts (known as “charisms,” a Greek word used in the New Testament for “favor” or “gratuitous gift”) are gifts from the Holy Spirit. They are intended to be shared with the world in an outward focus, in charity and service. Spiritual gifts enable Christians to build up the church. (CCC 2003)

Through scripture we hear about spiritual gifts in I Corinthians 12:7-10

“To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.  To one is given through the spirit of wisdom, and to another the speaking of knowledge according to the same spirit to another faith by the same spirit to another gifts of healing by the one spirit to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kind of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.”

Our Sunday breakfast conversation evolved as our children were eager to hear, how and when they will receive these spiritual gifts. Spiritual gifts are given to us through the Holy Spirit at our sacraments, in addition to grace, which helps us overcome our fears or hesitation in using those gifts (similar to what the early disciples may have felt). The Catechism states that when we are baptized, we are made a temple of the Holy Spirit and are given “the power to live and act under the prompting of the Holy Spirit through the gifts of the Holy Spirit. (CCC 1265-1266) Then at the sacrament of Confirmation, an imprint is made on the soul, “an indelible spiritual mark, the ‘character,’ which is the sign that Jesus Christ has marked a Christian with the seal of his Spirit by clothing him with power from on high so that he may be his witness.” (CCC 1304)

When we use our spiritual gifts, we are not only building God’s church on earth; studies show that we also become more fulfilled. Gallup, an organization widely known for its polls and employee-selection research, found that when individuals use their strengths in their occupations, they are more engaged, productive, profitable and happier.  In Living Your Strengths, a recently-published book by Gallup, the authors explain that American churches are experiencing a power shortage. “People aren’t harnessing the power of their innate gifts,” I see this in my own parish: individuals volunteer for a position out of a desire to help, but in some cases, the right person is in the wrong ministry. Or in other cases, an individual works tirelessly doing a ministry that isn’t within his or her spiritual gifts, which leads to burnout and disconnection from the church. How invigorating would it be if all members of a church were using their gifts to enrich their parish, while at the same time, making each parishioner more engaged, productive, and happier?

Life is messy, complicated and challenging on many days, and it can be hard to find the joy in our daily existence. Life also changes us. And yet since the beginning of time, man has always searched for a deeper meaning for our existence. As we gain a better understanding of ourselves, and learn what our spiritual gifts are, we are given a glimpse of our purpose on earth. Living, working and serving from your spiritual gifts provides abundant amounts of energy, others will affirm your efforts, and surely in God’s timing you will provide a positive impact on others.

When Pope John Paul was in Chicago he talked about “unity,” and in our union with God we are more capable of unity with others. This quote from Pope Francis reminds me of my daily desire to be attentive to using my gifts to foster unity:

“We should get into the habit of asking ourselves, before the end of the day: ‘What did the Holy Spirit do in me?  What witness did he give me?’ Because he is a divine presence that helps us   moving forward in our lives as Christians.”

The Pope explained that the Holy Spirit is always there to protect and support each person, and that, “without this presence, our Christian lives cannot be understood.” Perhaps this Lent can be a season for you to consider: do you know your spiritual gifts? How are you sharing those gifts?  Who might be able to help if you are wrestling with this topic?

This blog is based on the personal experiences and opinions of Peggy O’Flaherty. Any reproduction of the material in this blog may be used with written consent of the author by e-mail at

Peggy O’Flaherty, is a certified spiritual director, public speaker, blog writer, wife and mother of five children. Her recent writing projects include “New App For your Phone Connect your Parish, Growing the Faith, One Parish” and “Extending Compassion, Losing a Child & Evangelization” She is the Founder & President of Creating Space, LLC., a ministry helping people enrich their faith. Follow Peggy at

Adopting a Child via Unbound

I wanted to share some exciting news in my Sunday snippets this week. On New Years Eve our family talked about ways that we could try and model the example of the Holy Family. Each of us came up with a few ideas; we talked about saying the rosary as a family on a weekly basis or reading a short verse from scripture on Sunday evenings, or doing works of service within our community among other things. Honestly if we were more patient with each other (myself included), more loving and sharing of our time we would be on a good path.   Many of you know that we have five children. We have been blessed with two girls, then our son and another two girls. We left our NYE dinner without a plan.  Several years ago, while attending our Sunday service I noticed my son was rumbling under his breath and had tears in his eyes.  I leaned over and asked “what is wrong” and he replied “I come here every week and keep asking this God why can’t I have a brother.”  I wrapped my arms around him and said “I ask God the same question.”  So this week we had Father Dan shared with us his ministry, called UnBound (previously the Christian Foundation for Children).  UnBound is a dedicated to tackling poverty in new and innovative ways.  They connect people across cultural, religious and economic divides to live in daily solidarity and work toward a greater good.  They bring confidence, opportunity and encouragement to children and families living on the margins of society in 21 countries.   Throughout the entire church (altar, pews, and at the entrance) they had yellow pamphlets with photos of children of various ages and some adults from countries all around the world.   So after mass we let our son look at all the children and find a boy who was close in his age that we could adopt. Image

Here is our son, looking at our new adopted child – Cesar who is an 8 year-old boy from Honduras, born on October 27, 2005.    His father passed away a few years ago and he is living with his mother and few relatives.   Cesar has a respiratory condition and yet he loves helping his mother around the house and playing with friends.   Cesar is active, smart and math is his favorite subject.   Cesar’s mother does housekeeping and the family income is less than $200 a month.   Our small donation of $30.00 a month will provide Cesar with some very basic needs that come so easily for us in Downers Grove, IL.   We will be writing Cesar letters and they shared that he will be writing back a few times each year.   Cesar will help us keep focused on making different decision each month, as we can surely offer $1.00 a day to be put toward Cesar.  Giving our prayers to Cesar for his health, education and well-being is another small way that we can incorporate Cesar into our family.

Isaish 58:10

 “Work hard to feed hungry people.

 Satisfy the needs of those who are crushed.

 Then my blessing will light up your darkeness.”

Please consider reading more about Unbound

First Christmas As A Grandma – Guest Blog

This a guest blog from Barb Perry a fellow spiritual director with her thoughts on preparing for her first Christmas as a Grandma.   Can you relate as a parent or grandparent?


I became a grandmother in July this year.  A Gammy, to be exact.  I’m a third generation Gammy.  As I remember that moniker and think of Christmas, I know the bar is high.  My mother and grandmother shaped my Christmases, and now, just a few days before my darling granddaughter Cora arrives at our house with my daughter and son-in-law, I aniticipate my path.  What direction will this Christmas take?

            I must admit I’m a bit unsettled at the moment.  A friend’s death last week and another friend’s cancer’s reappearance has brought sadness to my days.  Could this malaise open my heart to greater joy at the sight of darling Cora?  I hold onto the hope that it will.  The shortened days remind me that the solstice is coming and I’m grateful for the imminence of Christmas.  We need the brightness of Christmas when the nights are so long.

            As I wait, I keep busy by wrapping gifts, preparing the house and making soup, all quotidian tasks that calm my heart and occupy my mind in a gentle way.  I’m preparing for the arrival of a baby 2000 years after Mary and Joseph readied their lives for the arrival of Jesus.  Their example of honoring their babe will guide me.

            My daughter loves Cora by spending all her days and nights with her.  She feeds her, she sings to her, she bathes and dresses her. She takes her everywhere she goes.  Cora’s dad’s life happens to be extremely busy with work these days and isn’t home much.  He loves her by providing for her, taking naps with her on the couch on the weekends and delighting in her presence.  When they come to stay with us for a week, they’ll break from their routine, settle into our house, spread out their stuff and share little Cora with us.  How will I love Cora and her parents for the week of Christmas?

            My preparations help me focus:  get the house organized and make the beds, wrap presents, clean and cook, think about and make plans with family and friends so all can welcome Cora to her first Christmas.  I’ve planned a brunch, a Christmas dinner and a game party to gather with family and friends.  And what about my heart?  How can I prepare my heart for this holy arrival?  What do I hear as I still my soul for the busy time ahead? Clear the clutter of too much activity.  Allow for open space and open time.  Put a puzzle together, drink hot cider, dig out the Christmas music, dust off the guitar and sit down at the piano.  Allow time to just sit around or get up and do yoga.  I’m grateful for our spacious house, which gives us room to gather a crowd, sit for an intimate conversation or find a tucked-away corner to be alone.

            As I ponder the week, I wonder what place Christmas morning will take. Cora’s great-grandmother knit her a stocking with her name on it.  We’ll fill it with gifts and Cora won’t understand, but she’ll see us having fun opening presents from each other.  She’ll reflect our joy.  I sometimes worry that I put too much stock in Christmas morning.  Every moment is important and it’s unrealistic to strive to have all of life like Christmas morning.   I love it, it’s a magical time, sitting around surrounded by presents to and from the people I love most in the world, now including Cora. But this year I will remember those who are experiencing a less joyful day.  I will think of those who have lost loved ones recently.  I will think of my own father, who died this year, of my mother who made Christmas so special for me, and of my Gammy whose love I always felt. 

            Whether I consciously think of those sadder times on Christmas morning or not, I will have them in my heart.  Cora will get passed around from the loving arms of her parents to those of Dadoo, her grandfather,  and her Uncle Doug and back to me.  Little Cora, surrounded by and filled with love.  How grateful I am.


Sandy Hook Mom, Nurturing, Healing, Love

I published this back in November and wanted to support this mom and the memory of her son Jesse.

This morning the Today Show featured an interview with Scarlett Lewis, a mother who lost her son Jesse, at the Sandy Hook school last December.   His memory is living strong in her new book “Nurturing, Healing, Love.” .  She writes about his brave act of love that saved the life of his classmates.   I found this interview about Jesse touching, his mother is an inspiration of strength and faith.  She demonstrates amazing amounts of love and forgiveness.   The link below is the interview with Matt Lauer.   I plan to buy this book for a few friends and even a few teachers.

They have also established a foundation “Choose Love” in her son’s memory that partners with organization that will support and educate children.

This blog is based on the personal experiences and opinions of Peggy O’Flaherty. Any reproduction of the material in this blog may be used with written consent of the author by e-mail at Peggy O’Flaherty, is a certified spiritual
director, public speaker, blog writer, wife and mother of five children. Her recent writing projects include “Who Is Listening?” and “Why Clean Your Garage?” She is the Founder & President of Creating Space, LLC., a ministry helping people enrich their faith. Follow Peggy at

Top 10 List of Advent Activities For Children To Prepare Christmas

Every Christmas our family tries to keep Advent at the center of Christmas. Advent allows us four weeks to prepare for the birth of baby Jesus, which we experience through Hope, Joy, Peace and Love. Here is our top 10 list of Advent activities that have become our tradition.

10. Set up a nativity scene in the living room and play with the figures.

9. Place our Advent wreath at our dinner table, take turns lighting the candle and reading the scripture.

8. Attend a Living Nativity at a local church, especially ones with animals.

7. Watch the Nativity Story on DVD (Breath of Heaven is the theme song).

6. Adopt a child or family from our church.

5. Prepare chocolate turtles for teachers and loved ones.

4. Read the Nutcracker at night and ponder simple gifts from years ago.

3. Host our extended family for Christmas Eve celebration.

2. Attend Christmas morning mass.

1. Enjoy our 5 children as they delight in the magic of Christmas.

Sending blessings to each of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You may also enjoy this post from Adiel Booker, as she has so many more ideas.

Remembering Those We Have Lost

Poppie Girls

This Thanksgiving I am especially thankful for my Dad.   He passed away in February after 12 years of suffering from Alzheimer’s.   Have you lost anyone special this year and how are you entering into the holidays with their memory?     Remembering the great lessons that he shared is soothing for my soul.   The greatest lesson he taught me was that church is not simply a building with four walls.    He would say “church is a community of people who serve together with a generous and thankful heart”.     He would have been so proud of our neighbors who came together last Friday night to collect and donate supplies to the families in Washington Il, who were impacted by the tornado.    An entire crew of Downers Grove individuals loaded 8 busses.  It was cold, backs were sore and yet their hearts were warm.

Sending Thanksgiving blessings to everyone and especially those who lost someone special this year.     May their memory bring warmth and love to your Thanksgiving celebration.

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